Type in Dell Support into your favorite search engine, and on the first page of results you’ll see some pretty angry users. This was my first clue that exchanging a faulty 19″ Dell LCD monitor wasn’t going to be easy. My first try was to email them. No go. You need a service tag number to use any of the online support options, which is only supplied with computer systems, not monitors. This ruled out live chat as well. “Fine,” I said, “I’ll go the old-fashioned way and call them.” For some reason I couldn’t find the appropriate phone number on the Dell site, which was when I discovered the expletive-laidened articles mentioned above.
Finally I gave up and found the packaging slip on the outside of the box. I dialed the number and after some bland music a tech support rep. answered and asked for the service tag. I told him I just had an order number. After some back and forth he asked if I was a business or home user. Apparently being a “home user” is about the same as being a leper in the eyes of Dell. I was immediately ejected and found myself being lulled into numbness by the hold music until a fellow with a thick accent answered. Same questions. I gave him my order number at which point he said something like “let me just check… *click*”. I was disconnected. Oy.
That was last week. I figured I’d give it another whirl today. First person who answered said I needed to contact customer service, since I just wanted an exchange, rather than actual technical help connecting the monitor. He gave me a number and then transferred me. After 10 minutes of more numbing hold music I was disconnected. The outsourced tech support folks working for Dell must have some fumbly fingers. I called the supplied number and the woman said that I needed to talk to LCD monitor support, not customer service, since replacing the monitor was a “last resort.” Oh boy, how wonderful. Again she gave me a number and again I was transferred (I felt like I was in a deleted scene from Terry Gilliam’s Brazil). This time I wasn’t cut off. I actually reached a human. Only, the way he answered, it sounded like I’d woken the guy up. After some confused conversation, it turned out that I’d been routed to an LCD refurbishing plant in Ohio, and that this actually happens with some regularity. He gave me two numbers to try. Before hanging up I asked if he could give me advice on the problem with the monitor, thinking at least the refurbisher would know something about it. No go. The guy who answered was a security guard.
I thanked him, hung up, and just started laughing… not quite hysterically, but more just to convince myself that this was actually part of some brilliant comedy of errors.
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